The Joyfulicity Blog

I had my older kids pretty much convinced when they were little that "shut up" was a swear word. I still kind of think of it that way. There is a cruelty in such a demand. To enforce or even imply that someone else's voice ought to be silenced is arrogant and often dangerous.

I fear that in this age of email and texting, the art of handwritten letter writing is getting lost. I can't argue that the new ways are far faster and more convenient. I use them too, and wouldn't want to go back to a time when I couldn't communicate with such speed and efficiency. However, we often aren't as cautious with what we say when responding so quickly. In the massive barrage of messages we don't pay as close of attention to what others are saying either.

After a couple of months taking ballroom dance lessons, I have come to a surprising realization. The hardest part for me has not been the steps or the rhythm as I had expected. Those have been coming fairly naturally. As it turns out, the thing I have found most challenging is learning how to follow.

Single parenting is not for sissies. It's really tough. So I want you to know today that you are seen. You are known. You are loved. I understand, because I am in the trenches beside you. Most of us didn't plan to become single parents. Life took turns we didn't expect, but yet here we are.

It’s important to remember that your relationship isn’t a war to be won. If it’s feeling like a battle far too often, try taking the rebuttals out of the conversation. Lead with active listening, and a sincere effort to understand. Even if both parties aren’t giving at that level, change can begin with only one person stepping out of the fight, and into the love. Winning an argument may be somewhat satisfying at a low level, but the real lasting victory comes from building tr

The internet is great for facts, figures, amusing anecdotes and research. We can even find self-help information, motivation and a form of connection on its pages. But spiritual inspiration, advice from loved ones and intuition are important resources too, when seeking answers to the questions that matter most. Love and pure wisdom on a real, personalized level are not found on a computer screen, and I don’t believe they ever will be.

Jealousy cannot stand in the face of gratitude and love for others. So let's retrain that impulse to envy into an impulse to be overjoyed when others succeed. In fact, to help them to do so as often as possible. Let’s turn that envious moment into a gratitude fest and watch how fast that changes our feelings. With this mindset the answer to “are you sure you’re jealous?” will almost always be NO!!

When we act with kindness, and forgive the failings of those around us, we ourselves are more at peace, healthier and happier. So don't do it for them. Do it for you!!

I'd like to think that most people that know me would consider me a pretty nice person. Kindness is something I deeply value and try hard to embody and demonstrate in my life. The unfortunate truth is, however, that sometimes that desire to be perpetually "nice" can end up having some decidedly "not nice" consequences. It can even be skillfully used against you by those with selfish motives.

These are 5 of the best books I have relied on for advice during my own parenting journey: